weaknesses and struggles...

i'm feeling inspired to post the story i wrote on here for others to read. hopefully someone can relate to this and maybe even someone needs to hear this, b/c i know i did...let me know if you have any insights or want to talk about it.... (keep in mind this is for a high school chicken soup book...that's why it's kind of corny) :)

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults,
in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
(2 Corinthians 12:8-10)

At first glance, I might seem like your typical college junior: trying to find my place in life and in the real world, wondering what my life will be like after graduation and how to get there. In my short lifetime, I have been told repeatedly to figure out what I’m good at, because only then will I be able to start determining what I should do with my life. I have been taught by countless teachers, counselors, and friends to look for my strengths, and most would say I’ve been pretty successful in finding those and using them accordingly.

Many times in life and growing up we, as students, are taught to be strong, to be leaders and not followers, and especially here in America, to be self-sufficient and independent, no matter what it takes.

Even though I have found many strengths within myself to use in different areas of my life, it has still been a constant struggle to be totally independent and I have found that no matter how much I act like I don’t need anyone else, inside I am longing for and needing someone to pick me up when I fall and to fill in for my many weaknesses. God has taught me that compared to His insurmountable strength, every quality that I have is actually a weakness. That is why Paul says in Corinthians that he delights in his weaknesses, so that Christ’s power can “rest on him.” He even goes as far as to “boast” about his weaknesses, so that other people can know that he is incapable of doing things on his own and using his personal qualities.

After coming to this understanding of God, I realized that I have been given a daily reminder of my own weakness. Every morning when I wake up and place my feet on the ground, I am reminded that I cannot make it through the day without God’s help and strength.

You see, I was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis when I was 18 months old. This was very uncommon at the time, and still is at that young age. Due to the uniqueness of the situation, there was really no medication for the pain, so I was taking 24 baby aspirin per day, which eventually led to a medication-induced coma that turned into Reye’s Syndrome. Praise God I was only in a coma for one day and was rescued from that. There are so many things I could say about this time in my life: I went on numerous medications and was in a wheelchair because I was unable to walk. My dad had to do therapy with me daily where I cried and screamed from the pain. The doctors told my parents that I may never walk.

The point is that my parents did not put their trust in the doctors. And they definitely didn’t put their trust in themselves, as they probably were feeling very helpless in this situation. All they could do at that point was trust in God and believe that through our extreme helplessness and weakness, His glory would be shown.

I am that weakness. Although I did not recognize that until 20 years after my diagnosis, God has been working through me anyway. Of course, there have been hard times in my life, just like anyone else’s, but I now realize that I should boast about my weaknesses, for it is in those weaknesses that Christ’s glory, power, and strength is shown.

I am one big weakness, and for that very reason, God wants to use me, just like He wants to use you.