forced to relax

as i sat in goodyear for the third afternoon in a row, reading the new book that my roommate surprised me with in the mail yesterday, i thought to myself

"it's kind of nice having no other choice but just to sit here for an hour and chill out."

and even though it may be stressful to have to drive back and forth everyday b/c my car is still not fixed (by the way, it's STILL not fixed now), it is not a bad thing to just sit and read.

or talk. that's another thing.

i ran into my good 'ol friend ryan "beautiful hair" jernigan when i came into goodyear today. he toured with a band called last tuesday this semester around the US, so I hadn't seen him since before Christmas last year. so that was really random/awesome too b/c i got to hear what's going on in his life and how he's doing....good stuff. i'm glad to hear about someone else who's really trying to figure out what they want to do with their life. i guess that's comforting to those of us who are doing the same.
_____

let the noise and clamor cease, be still and know

if anyone ever needs to know what a possum looks like,

ask me.

i stared one down for about 20 minutes last night until public safety came to free me.

(and i was going to put a picture on here, but i'm too freaked out even looking at them online)

i would MUCH rather have this car

(my most recent car crush)

it would run better than the accord! c'mon!!!!

beauty in the breakdown

well, i finally got the air conditioning fixed in my car today.

and i was sitting there thinking to myself "how many times have i been to this goodyear since i started at campbell?" too many times to count.

but i was happy leaving that goodyear today was cold air blowing on my face.
____

that is, until i got to the first stop light, when my poor, poor car started shaking and wailing like it was about to turn off. and it did this the whole way back to school every time i put my foot on the break.


i know what you might be saying to yourself.
"but michelle's car has a dent in the front from when she hit a deer!?!"
no, this is not my car, but it does have flip lights.

good times in the trusty '88 honda accord.
another afternoon at goodyear might be in the near future for this girl!

the things you say...

about yourself,
about your family,
about your job,
about your school,
and most importantly, about other people

...tell other people what's important to you, what's in your heart.

think before you speak? might be better advice than i ever thought it was.




________

"for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

i feel better already!

i haven't posted anything in awhile

today was good. i got a lot done at work, then i helped give out the keys for the camp i'm working with this week, so i felt productive there.

i have treatment tomorrow. FINALLY after about 12 weeks....i can't begin to tell you how much better i'll feel. so if you want to hang out with me in the next few days, it's pretty much a guaranteed good mood.

i've been thinking about my arthritis a lot lately, since every time i go down the stairs in this apt, my left heel seems to give out. there are so many things i know i COULD try to help my arthritis....wear supportive tennis shoes everyday, start eating only really healthy foods, give up my extracurricular activities since they sometimes seem to add stress when i already have enough just walking everyday.

but i just can't see myself giving up all these things -- flip-flops, chick-fil-a sandwiches, sga, activities, etc. -- when i only really have a year left for some of them and they make me happy. it just doesn't seem worth it to me. maybe that's stupid, but i just can't decide.

honestly, i get used to it. i mean, right now my hand is hurting from typing this already. so should i just never type again? no, b/c that equals unemployment. plus, this is what i like to do.

so sue me.

i really think i'll feel a LOT better tomorrow night though. so we'll see.

___________
p.s.
this is not at all meant to be a "feel sorry for michelle" blog. it's just what i've had on my mind. there are things in life like this for everyone. do you give up something you really love for the betterment of something else in your life? i'm sure everyone deals with these questions everyday.
___________

in other news, i get to go to kentucky with kt for her birthday at the beginning of august, which i'm really excited about. also, she's coming home with me the last weekend in july for lisa's 21st birthday extravaganza. i'm excited to see all my friends at home again!

and i'm a dorm dean this week and next for crosspoint camp. i'll be living in murray, which ought to be very interesting. and actually, i'm going to eat in shouse with tricia now since we get free meals. how about that rotisserie chicken?? ;)

most romantic quotes i've ever heard

"if he never would've gotten hit, i never would have gotten to know danny on such a deep, personal level"

"when i'm with her, it's like i forget i have a broken face..."

melinda and danny on the real world



= love. haha.

you should think about it, take a second

IF YOU READ THIS, even if we DO SPEAK OR DON'T SPEAK OFTEN,
comment with one memory of me and you.

it can be anything you want. GOOD OR BAD.
just as long as it HAPPENED.

THEN, post this on your blog.
see what other people remember about YOU.

lady liberty

here's what i did at the beach...





ok, so it was my dad. but i did write that "JULY IV" on there with a shell and it was hard work, let me tell you.

you think you know, but you have no idea.

(i never thought i'd title a post with this stupid, cliche phrase)

i've been thinking a lot lately about why we are so quick to criticize others and extremely slow to take a few seconds and actually put ourselves in their shoes.

actually, scratch that...most of the time, i'm pretty sure we can't even begin to put ourselves in anyone else's shoes. it just seems humanly impossible to me that anyone could actually know what it feels like to be someone else, and therefore know what's best for them in their lives.

i used to think that i had all the answers for everyone else's lives. i knew that they were in a bad relationship, that they weren't working hard enough in school, that their friends were no good, etc. i also thought that it was my place to tell them those things, or at least make them feel stupid enough that they would be embarassed to keep living their lives that way. and i'm not just talking close friends...i'm talking everyone around me. maybe it was just me, but it seems like a lot of people "know what's best" for everyone else.

then i had a reality check and realized that NO ONE CARES. and again, i'm not talking about close friends. i do think that a lot of times, your friends can see things that you can't...and it's nice to have those people in your life that you trust to let you know when they see concerns. but passing judgment on people from the moment i laid eyes on them just wasn't working for me and neither was continuing to do it to people who i never really took the time to get to know.

i think the main reason for this is that people don't bother to get past the surface with others who are different from them. they just write them off from the start because they can't understand where they're coming from.

it is my conclusion that you should always give people the benefit of the doubt....that somehow, they are doing what's right in their minds.

b/c hey, even if they aren't, what am i going to do about it? is it my job to call them out? probably not.

and just like i don't want outsiders looking in, judging me, and telling me what i'm doing wrong, neither does anybody else.

no one knows what my life is like on a daily basis, no matter what people who make bright orange fliers may claim. and on that same token, i don't know what it's really like to be anyone else. all i can do is try my best to be understanding and give advice when asked.

p.s.
i don't even know if this makes sense, but i needed to get it out of my head.

i love holidays.

** happy 4th of july! **




i even like excuses for holidays, so please let me know if there is anything i should be celebrating that i'm not aware of throughout the year.