you think you know, but you have no idea.

(i never thought i'd title a post with this stupid, cliche phrase)

i've been thinking a lot lately about why we are so quick to criticize others and extremely slow to take a few seconds and actually put ourselves in their shoes.

actually, scratch that...most of the time, i'm pretty sure we can't even begin to put ourselves in anyone else's shoes. it just seems humanly impossible to me that anyone could actually know what it feels like to be someone else, and therefore know what's best for them in their lives.

i used to think that i had all the answers for everyone else's lives. i knew that they were in a bad relationship, that they weren't working hard enough in school, that their friends were no good, etc. i also thought that it was my place to tell them those things, or at least make them feel stupid enough that they would be embarassed to keep living their lives that way. and i'm not just talking close friends...i'm talking everyone around me. maybe it was just me, but it seems like a lot of people "know what's best" for everyone else.

then i had a reality check and realized that NO ONE CARES. and again, i'm not talking about close friends. i do think that a lot of times, your friends can see things that you can't...and it's nice to have those people in your life that you trust to let you know when they see concerns. but passing judgment on people from the moment i laid eyes on them just wasn't working for me and neither was continuing to do it to people who i never really took the time to get to know.

i think the main reason for this is that people don't bother to get past the surface with others who are different from them. they just write them off from the start because they can't understand where they're coming from.

it is my conclusion that you should always give people the benefit of the doubt....that somehow, they are doing what's right in their minds.

b/c hey, even if they aren't, what am i going to do about it? is it my job to call them out? probably not.

and just like i don't want outsiders looking in, judging me, and telling me what i'm doing wrong, neither does anybody else.

no one knows what my life is like on a daily basis, no matter what people who make bright orange fliers may claim. and on that same token, i don't know what it's really like to be anyone else. all i can do is try my best to be understanding and give advice when asked.

p.s.
i don't even know if this makes sense, but i needed to get it out of my head.