musical team building

my friend amy sits in the cube beside me at work.

last night at her house, we decided that it might be fun(ny) to blast a random song really loud each morning from our general cube area, just to see how our co-workers would react.

i have to say, it was hilarious. we laughed before the song even came on (surprise), and as soon as it did, a few of our co-workers started circling our cubes and trying to figure out what in the world was going on to which we replied "we're just trying to spread a little cheer!"

they actually discussed the song choice amongst themselves and i even heard chris singing the song to himself after it played.

the song for the day:
"the first noel" performed by josh groban & faith hill

any of your ideas for "motivational song of the day" would be much appreciated.

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build me up, buttercup

i just finished off a basically perfect weekend.

the funny thing is, there were quite a few not-so-perfect things that happened, but i honestly have not enjoyed myself and other people like i did this weekend in a long, long time. what a wonderful feeling :)

here are a few of my favorite photos from the weekend:


this was at approximately 3am on friday morning after we returned from britt's bachelorette dinner/lingerie shower/unexpected disco dance party in ballantyne.

her cousin mackenzie had come into town while we were gone, so she wanted to jump on him when we got back.

here we are headed up the stairs, trying to be "sneaky..."

me, stephen and lauren at my brother's high school graduation...next year he will be a mountaineer at app state university!

(here we're throwing up the "weddington high school" signs...all warrior graduates!)

on the way to the wedding, my car made a huge roaring sound on 485 right before our exit to 77.

after screaming and shaking, lisa and i got out to find that my tire tread flew off in the middle of the interstate.

her fiancee lee (hero of the weekend) came to our rescue and we made it just in time to get dressed and walk down the aisle. of course, we had to commemorate with a photo!

here we are, all grown up and reunited (even one from overseas!)

(lauren, lisa, brittany, me and maria!)

me & maria...i still can't believe she's here! what a breath of fresh air :)

ahhhh. it seriously made my life.

especially since brittany had the dj play "build me up, buttercup" at the reception. we LOVE it!

i love living in the city;

however i realized this morning that i would, at some point in my life, enjoy living in an old, big city.

the kind where people say "oh, you're going to charlotte? you have to go to 'phil's' on main and get the #5 and an eclair...it's a little taste of heaven."

and when you ask the concierge at the hotel for his opinion, he agrees 100% (thankful that you didn't ask where capital grille was located) and calls over to let them know you're coming because they're in the same network from back in the day.

or better yet, when you live there you can walk in and say "hey phil, top of the morning to ya" and he gives you your drink and you're on your way...
______

now, don't be confused...this doesn't happen in charlotte. that's what i'm trying to say.

and i'm pretty sure my upcoming seattle trip is going to really push the envelope on my patience, but we will see!

wild goose chase

i talked to my friend kat last night for awhile. kat & i were friends in college, but not "close" friends. we had mutual "close" friends, but we really (for no particular reason) didn't spend a lot of exclusive time together.

since graduating college, we have become closer and have recently decided that we want to try to meet each other halfway between where we live as often as possible for dinner, to catch up with one another. we did this last month and it was SO awesome just to chat and be encouraged.

we were supposed to meet tomorrow night for dinner, but we both agreed that it just isn't happening this week...she's got a major change of life plans coming her way and me with my bridesmaiding this weekend.

we did talk on the phone for a bit last night, and it seems the theme of the conversation was how thankful we are for the fact that God so graciously didn't allow our lives to turn out the way we planned them...the fact that He would actually rip us from the plans we dug our nails so tightly into, convincing ourselves that what we thought was best.

(we, of course, were talking about relationships)

this morning i was reminded of how that has also happened in my career (if you can call it that) path. it's funny, because sometimes i forget that my first job was actually supposed to be with espn regional television. i won't go into the long, sad story, but i didn't end up starting due to their HR error. so i ended up back at campbell working for admissions, and although sometimes i certainly question why that part of my life happened, i can see parts of why that happened. then when i began looking for new jobs, i almost accepted a position with "taste of charlotte" (which is why i was reminded this morning...the festival is this weekend - http://www.tasteofcharlotte.com/) but for a few reasons, didn't feel comfortable accepting the job with such a small company and thus, ended up where i am, working for newell rubbermaid in a pretty wonderful position.

_________________

all that to say that throughout my life, the hardest thing for me has been to make big decisions - how long to stay in one place, when to say 'enough is enough' in a relationship or job that isn't quite where it should be, which dreams to chase and how to measure the motive behind those dreams, if suppressing some of my talents to take a job that i need is settling for the 'good' instead of the 'great.'

i have started thinking about this again lately, trying to focus on the things that i DO have in my life...number one being a job...and trying to figure out where to go from here.

ideally, i would go back to school full-time and get a masters ("in what?" is another question...). unfortunately, these decisions are not that easy due simply to the fact that my medical bills cost a fortune and i don't really have the option to just pick up and go where my heart wanders.

my other option being work and get my masters...or just work and try to get myself where i want to go.

and i guess the hardest question holding me back from making any sort of plan is what in the world do i want to do? a loaded question. sometimes i feel like the easier question might be "what DON'T i want to do?"

a quick laundry list of things i've considered doing with my life:

• tv news anchor
• life coach
• marriage & family counselor
• addictions counselor
• student affairs in higher ed
• concert coordinator/something in the music industry*
• high school teacher**
• writer (nonfiction, but not self-help)
• speech writer
• "motivational" speaker
• President of the US of A

and more recently...

• human resources
• channel marketing
• advertising (for Sharpie!)
• coffee shop or wine bar owner (ha!)
• floral designer (what?!? michelle nurturing plants??)
• sports anchor
• still something in the music industry*
• still, a teacher**

the biggest conclusion i take from this is that the things that make me most excited are the ones with the biggest learning curves and i'm really okay with that. i think i feel as if i'm getting dumber by the day and i don't like that.

so, any thoughts on this from my wonderfully wise friends? maybe i should just take a vote from these lists and make my decision based on the people's concensus.

(and don't even vote for "President" because we all know how well that seems to work for me...and if i had to guess, campbell and america might actually be similar battles during the election process and thereafter...)

and that, my friends, deserves a photo.

pendulum swing

although i know that growing up in a Christian home and never really having 'veered off the path' is a more positive than negative thing (for SURE) in my life, i can see where certain aspects of the Christian culture i've been surrounded by have greatly shaped my outlook on my own life, particularly trying to live a Christian life.

i realize that more and more, especially now that i live outside of the "bubble" i was in for 6 years, (and all the years before that) and it is quite overwhelming most of the time. i find myself inside my head all the time, unable to verbalize all the things that swirl around in my brain because everything i've ever thought about life is being challenged from all angles. i also find myself in constant guilt over even small aspects of my life where i feel like i'm just not living up to my own or other's expectations of what my Christian walk should look like right now.

but someone please tell me...what exactly should my Christian walk look like right now?

the other confusing thing about this constant struggle for any sort of clarity in my life is that any Christian to whom i might pose the question above would answer it differently. (and that doesn't help with the clarity issue)

i've also thought lately about how satan probably very much enjoys his stronghold on my mind -- keeping me so focused on myself and what i'm doing or not doing that i don't have any time or energy left to do anything beneficial for anyone else, especially unbelievers. i wonder what Jesus would say to me...most likely not "michelle, you need to complete the following list of things each day to be a good Christian..." or "here's what a Christian looks like:" followed by a bulleted list of things Christians do and things Christians do not do each day.

i was reading "searching for God knows what" yesterday and definitely have to agree with donald miller's point on Christianity and our logical lists of what identifies a Christian, so that we can make ourselves feel better when we have accomplished said list. it's somewhat mechanical when you think about it. and i think that is what has caused this unrest in my soul - i so fear becoming a Christian robot that i'm having a hard time deciding what a real "Christian in an unChristian world" looks like, at the same time realizing that God spits the likewarm out of his mouth.

does this make any sense to anyone else but me?

(i hope that it does because sometimes i fear i have lost my mind already. and at such a young age. what a shame.)

but i refuse to sit here and make lists of what a 24-almost-25-year-old Christian female looks like! married, single, in a serious relationship, engaged, working for a huge money-centered corporation, working for billy graham, barely making your rent, owning a beautiful townhouse, raising children, having a hard time raising gerbera daisies!!! (guess who that is.)

i don't know if any of it plays a factor in anything or why each of us is where we are in life! but i don't think i can handle another formula on how to live a Christian life, like the Bible is a self-help book when it is actually the story of the Creator of the Universe that we are lucky enough to get to know personally.

(breathe.)

maybe this shouldn't be a public blog. my head is spinning.