is bittersweet.
things definitely aren't the same, but i'm honestly thankful for that.
tonight i had coffee with claire and ben. claire has been my friend ever since the 6th grade when i was invited to her bowling party...ahh, the memories. we've never had big disagreements and i've never ever wondered where her heart is or what she's all about. i am so thankful for that. i really appreciate that about her. total honesty about her life and everything that goes on in it.
i hate to say it, but oftentimes when people are talking to me, i wonder what they're not telling me. i know i just shouldn't worry about it, but i hate to think that people edit what they say to me. that's probably because i know it's partially my fault b/c of my overreactions to things in the past and the fact that i talked down upon things that people did. the thing is, i don't know what to do about it. all i know is that i'm trying to just listen to people and hope that eventually they will realize that i'm really no different than they are.
anyway, i'm going to bed now b/c i'm working at camp all day tomorrow. it's been nice to be home, but i'm about ready to be back at school. i miss my roommate, i miss melinda, i miss jeanna, i miss bff, the girls in my cell group, sheather... i miss everyone. so there's my emotional release for the night. we talked about writing a lot tonight at caribou-yah and it reminded me of catharsis. and there you have it...what's been on my mind in the past couple hours.
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2 comments:
wow michelle, i feel the same way about my friends from home. seriously, i know they edit their convos with me b/c of past reactions, or misunderstandings. it sucks for sure... its like "give me a chance. i have grown up, learned, changed, etc". you are so great... i hope you have a fabulous christmas!!
thanks, anonymous, who are you?
:)
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