can't stop thinking about it

i can't help but put this on here too; it sums up life:

"the more we take, the less we become" - sarah mclachlan

the unhappiest times in my life have been when i've been focused on myself. totally "selfish and ungrateful," as one friend used to call her blog.

thinking about this, then, i think about how selfish and ungrateful i still am and how it hurts to be kind and selfless to those who are not in return. life is so hard....i'm so glad that's not all there is to look forward to. and we wonder why suicide rates are so high.....there is no point to life besides spreading God's word.

i was thinking about it during the play "into the woods." there is a scene where a married couple (who have obviously lived in a mediocre marriage for years) are in the woods together and suddenly realize all the reasons they actually fell in love in the first place, and all because of the enchanted woods. it was really sad to me. when you get married it will (hopefully) be to the person who is your very best friend in the whole world and whose faults are totally okay with you and who you can't think of living without. this makes me extremely happy. then i think of living with one person for the rest of my life and how many times i will say something that hurts their feelings and vice versa. i mean, really, what's the point? humans have faults. if that is the very best love you could ever experience in life and yet you were repeatedly hurt by it, i can't see a point to living at all. God's love is so much greater and is totally dependable. how exciting is that?

"never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." -hebrews 13:5

grace, faith, hope. wouldn't (truly) live without them.